Is Unconditional Love Healthy?

Is unconditional love healthy?

I had a rather provocative conversation this week with another Master Coach. His perspective was that it is important that we love and value ourselves regardless of our actions. The idea is that you are intrinsically worthy, independent of what you do.

This concept has always made me feel uncomfortable.

In my experience, conditional love is healthy. If I am being selfish and impatient then I don’t expect my wife to adore me. And I think it’s even ok to not feel great about myself for periods of time.

Equally if I do something difficult like apologising when typically I wouldn’t, or giving someone time when I am busy, or going for a run when I don’t feel like it, I think it’s important to give myself a genuine pat on the back.

I believe that meaning and fulfilment in life comes primarily from stretching and challenging ourselves. Humans are hardwired for struggle. Anything that motivates us in this direction is a good thing, including the need to give and receive love.

What do you think?

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